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Sep. 14th, 2015

Shower Inset

14th September - hunger

I've been trying to think of what to say to you. You're following me in other venues, but I don't know how assiduously. Perhaps more than that, I'm realizing that I don't really post personal things other places. I post photos and humorous anecdotes. I occasionally will post for some inoffensive cause. I try to be original, but several times lately I'll think I've come up with something first only to find that it was already done. In truth, I don't want to post personal things here, either.

I've been thinking lately that I should be hungry more often, and for longer. I'm sitting at my desk, and I have food options nearby. There's a box of Coconut Chocolate Chip CLIF Bars™ at my desk that I could break into and cease being hungry almost immediately. In the office across from mine, there's cake and if I take a right turn out my office door, there's a selection of fruit breads on the next desk I'd come to. Swell - I'm salivating. Biology can be so adorable. It's really frightfully rare that I'm hungry for more than thirty minutes. Though I don't feel a sense of first-world-guilt over this, I think hunger is a meaningful part of the human experience, and I'm not experiencing it.

I could also say that I need to lose weight. I do. I weigh in at 200 pounds, give or take, and that's heavy for 5'8". No one tells me I'm obese or even fat. I wear shirts in the "fitted" category, so maybe I carry the weight well. Weight loss isn't my motivator, though. Being hungry makes food taste better. Being hungry makes the mind work more creatively. Being hungry costs less than indulging in snacks. Being hungry connects me, if only slightly, to people who don't have access to the glut of food that I do.

And, I suppose, hunger is a metaphor. My life has changed a lot in the last few years, but I'm still looking for more change. Maybe I'll figure out how to make some happen while my stomach is growling.

Sep. 8th, 2015

Shower Inset

8th September - signal to noise

I'm trying to decide if I'm being passive-aggressive, or just passive. Passive, I think. Well, I'm not as passive-aggressive as some people, anyway.

I discovered a while ago that I was being followed online. I mean, that's not a shock. I have several friends who are connected to my accounts in multiple platforms. But I'm being silently followed by someone. I might decide to describe how I found out, but I'm not trying to prove that I'm clever. I have four individuals that I think it could be. One, probably shouldn't, for reasons that make me rather sad. Another might be considered a threat. The other two just puzzle me, as there isn't any reason for them to lurk silently. They withdrew from me, not the other way around.

There are other possibilities. Identity thieves, random internet weirdo, etc. But I don't think so.

Whomever you are, you're welcome to follow. I'm reviving my old, disused blog just for you. I don't know how long I'll post here, or how often. I'm hoping you'll talk to me. Maybe I just miss blogging. At least two of the four people would know that I could find you. I'm choosing not to. I'm suppressing my curiosity for you. If I detect mischief, I'll start searching for you, but for now, I respect your silence. Hope you're well.

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